hello folks. how are you? how's your day going? mine has been pretty awesome and i can't complaint.
so, here's the thing. last night i went on chatous, you know the site where you can talk with complete random stranger. it's like omegle but it's way better. then, i met some random guy from bangladesh. he's twenty and i don't even know his name. i didn't ask. it wasn't a big deal. i thought he's going to be an annoying guy who would ask nude pics of me while he's jerking off. but no, he wasn't like that. he didn't even ask me to send him a picture.
we had this conversation going and we talked about a lot of things. a lot of random things. we talked about how he liked potato and tomato, how i didn't like tomato, and we talked about life. haha yes, our conversation got pretty deep that night.
what made (or i should say "makes") me happy was how he encouraged me to be a better person than i was today. well, we barely knew each other and we knew that.
he told me how he hated my zero self-confidence and he told me i had to work on it. he said every one of us might turn into something beautiful, like butterflies. he said we had to let go what got us down so we could spread our wings and fly. our conversation was going well, until at one point, he began to scare me.
he started talking about death and he was giving me hints. like he was going to die or he was going to end his life soon. it's like 3 or 4 in the morning so i asked him to go to bed and he said that he would sleep and that would be his last sleep. he asked me about the book i was reading and my reason why i stopped reading when i nearly finished it, he asked me what would i do if death came before i finished reading the book, he told me that he would be gone far, he would go with the wind, and he said "we all will turn to dust."
i needed to end our conversation because my mum kept asking me to sleep so i told him. and instead of saying good night, he said good bye. i didn't say good bye to him because i hate it. i said "see you later" but he said "no, you won't see me later. i won't be here again." and he said such things like "my time is coming to an end." and after several good byes and see you laters, we did end the chat.
i don't know him, he doesn't know me as well. i don't know what's going on with his life. i don't know if he's really going to end his life soon. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know.
there are many things i have on my mind after having the conversation. i don't know why but just thinking about the conversation makes me sad. i feel weird. i feel strange.
he really hits me. hard.
but he's a stranger. a complete stranger. i don't know if he really meant it or not.
he might be pretending, he might be lying, he might be okay, he might be dead by now. there are possibilities.
i know i shouldn't take this seriously because man, he's just a random stranger. but i don't know. i just think it was sad.
i've been thinking about not clicking the "end chat" because who knows he will be back online few days later. but if i don't, i know i will be struck by this kind of sadness whenever i read our conversation.
finally, i clicked that "end chat" hoping that i won't think about it later because maybe i shouldn't.
i know this sadness and this feeling are only temporary because man, i don't know this guy. this is weird. i am weird, i know. ugh.
sorry for being so random, i'm in need of someone to talk to. soo... see you in another post! peace.
xx
