Saturday, January 10, 2015

jessica (and her mom aaaaaaand yui :p)

one fine day at the beach

yes hello this is francine, how are you folks? fine? great! me too. i think i'm beginning to love my job. I THINK. can i like the thing that stresses the shit outta me? this is complicated you know. one day it can get very fun and exciting and i keep saying "i love that kids" or "the class is fantastic" or "i really love that class" or "God i love my job" aaaaand the other day it can get very stressing, depressing, and frustrating.
so today.... is saturday. and this week (and for many weeks to come), i get to teach saturday class. my saturday class was really.... something. nobody answered my question. nobody wanted to talk to me. it's just weird, okay. buuut let's hope that it will get better next saturday. i cannot be the only one who does the talking, right? okay.
since i have a class from 9-11 and i didn't feel like coming home very early, i decided to plan a photoshoot with yui's niece, jessica. we went to the beach and we had fun. period.
i love today. i love the beach. i love that feeling when i go to the beach - i mean that feeling that makes you feel like you're at peace with yourself and the world, that feeling that makes you wanna run along the coastline barefoot, that feeling that makes you instantly forget how stressing and boring your life actually is. one thing i love the most is the beach always makes me feel serene.
i love indulging the serenity that it brings.
i love the wind.
i love the weather.
i love how the photos turn out to be.
i can't wait to go back and have another photoshoot.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

my cousin's wedding

hello! how's everyone doing?
as usual, my days are filled with happiness and laughter, i couldn't ask for more. aaand finally, i've got a job! yay! i said i didn't wanna be a teacher but now i think i have to swallow my own words. yes, my job involves (wild) kids and... teaching. yes, i am a teacher. and you know what? i'm lovin' it.
so yeah, my cousin got married last week and i ate a lot  took some pictures at his wedding party. i'm so happy for him and his wife.


Thursday, December 4, 2014


hey everyone, meet ruth. the happiest, the most energetic and fun young girl in the world. and btw, she laughs so much and she laughs at everything, I have no idea what she laughs at. but she's kinda cute, isn't she?

by the way, i miss photoshop so effin much

Sunday, November 9, 2014

random guy. random sadness.

hello folks. how are you? how's your day going? mine has been pretty awesome and i can't complaint.
so, here's the thing. last night i went on chatous, you know the site where you can talk with complete random stranger. it's like omegle but it's way better. then, i met some random guy from bangladesh. he's twenty and i don't even know his name. i didn't ask. it wasn't a big deal. i thought he's going to be an annoying guy who would ask nude pics of me while he's jerking off. but no, he wasn't like that. he didn't even ask me to send him a picture.
we had this conversation going and we talked about a lot of things. a lot of random things. we talked about how he liked potato and tomato, how i didn't like tomato, and we talked about life. haha yes, our conversation got pretty deep that night.
what made (or i should say "makes") me happy was how he encouraged me to be a better person than i was today. well, we barely knew each other and we knew that.
he told me how he hated my zero self-confidence and he told me i had to work on it. he said every one of us might turn into something beautiful, like butterflies. he said we had to let go what got us down so we could spread our wings and fly. our conversation was going well, until at one point, he began to scare me.
he started talking about death and he was giving me hints. like he was going to die or he was going to end his life soon. it's like 3 or 4 in the morning so i asked him to go to bed and he said that he would sleep and that would be his last sleep. he asked me about the book i was reading and my reason why i stopped reading when i nearly finished it, he asked me what would i do if death came before i finished reading the book, he told me that he would be gone far, he would go with the wind, and he said "we all will turn to dust."
i needed to end our conversation because my mum kept asking me to sleep so i told him. and instead of saying good night, he said good bye. i didn't say good bye to him because i hate it. i said "see you later" but he said "no, you won't see me later. i won't be here again." and he said such things like "my time is coming to an end." and after several good byes and see you laters, we did end the chat.
i don't know him, he doesn't know me as well. i don't know what's going on with his life. i don't know if he's really going to end his life soon. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know.
there are many things i have on my mind after having the conversation. i don't know why but just thinking about the conversation makes me sad. i feel weird. i feel strange.
he really hits me. hard.
but he's a stranger. a complete stranger. i don't know if he really meant it or not.
he might be pretending, he might be lying, he might be okay, he might be dead by now. there are possibilities.
i know i shouldn't take this seriously because man, he's just a random stranger. but i don't know. i just think it was sad.
i've been thinking about not clicking the "end chat" because who knows he will be back online few days later. but if i don't, i know i will be struck by this kind of sadness whenever i read our conversation.
finally, i clicked that "end chat" hoping that i won't think about it later because maybe i shouldn't.
i know this sadness and this feeling are only temporary because man, i don't know this guy. this is weird. i am weird, i know. ugh.
sorry for being so random, i'm in need of someone to talk to. soo... see you in another post! peace.